I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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