Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
