found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
