come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
