i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we made out on top of his cat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
