I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
