She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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