Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
