I wannas sexs uuuuu
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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