dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
