I skipped work to stalk him.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
a search helicopter?!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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