I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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