she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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