I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
