If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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