Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
