Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
