On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
