you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize