Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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