So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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