glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
