Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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