I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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