I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
