Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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