Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
