do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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