Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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