I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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