Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
