we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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