I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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