Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
