Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
