i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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