bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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