oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
