you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
