i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
