Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
