friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
