i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
