we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
