Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
