everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
