my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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