Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
