Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
