omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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