I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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