I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize