at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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