Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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