last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
