I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize