The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
