I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're using joints as your birthday candles
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
