You really coming over, don't trick.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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