Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Randomize
