then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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