Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
