So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
