it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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