I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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