Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
