FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
