she woke up with a sticky ear
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize