I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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