i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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